My National Parks: Mesa Verde

Content note: Corpses, murder, violence by animals, guns, decay, animal death

Mesa Verde is located in Montezuma County, Colorado, which is where I disposed of my neighbors' bodies. Mesa Verde, believe it or not, is a national park. It is national in the sense that it is in our nation. It is a park in the sense that you go there and have fun with the kids. There also might be slides and swings and such. No one really knows.

It's commonly believed that it is called Mesa Verde, “green table,” because Spanish explorers in the late 1700s described the tree-covered plateaus as being like green tables. In fact, it's actually called Mesa Verde because visitors are constantly moving about in the park. At nearby Mesa Amarilla park visitors are moving around slowly and cautiously. And in Mesa Roja the tourists are frozen in place. 

When I first wanted to work at Mesa Verde I thought that I was going to find Salsa Verde for my chips. But I totally do not know Spanish and so the words Mesa and Salsa seem indistinguishable to me. People asked how, if they seemed indistinguishable to me, I able to make out the word "verde" and connect that with Salsa Verde and thus become mistaken over that whole ordeal? Look, I’m the tour guide here, I’ll ask the questions.

A lot of people go to the Grand Canyon to see the face of God. But at Mesa Verde, people go to it to see the face of Dios. Teddy Roosevelt felt Dios' presence and was inspired to protect Mesa Verde by making it a national park in 1906. His wife wished he had protected her too before she got eaten by those bears. It's a shame Teddy Roosevelt didn't have me around in those early days. I would have protected any area of land, whether legally protected or not. And I would've definitely enjoyed doing it, whether armed with an illegally acquired semi-automatic or not.

Like Chaco Canyon and the Grand Canyon, Mesa Verde has preserved pueblos. In the other puebloed parks, I renovated the pueblos and lived in them with my family. But I thought I'd be more respectful of history in Mesa Verde. I only occupy the Pueblos in their present condition. Sure, there are buffalo carcasses everywhere throughout the pueblo and many visitors find it smelly and gross. But, I live in the pueblo only the way I assume the ancient Puebloans would have done it. I haven’t researched that or anything, but I’m sure I’m honoring their ways. 

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