TRAP Laws for Guns

On Monday the Supreme Court issued a historic ruling against Texan TRAP(Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) laws. These are regulations on abortion providers that serve no purpose other than to raise the operating costs of the facility to shut it down. What I couldn't help thinking of is just how much backlash there would have been from the Right if the same tactic had been applied to their sacred guns instead of people with uteruses.

-Gun shops are required to have an automatic revolving door in the front.

-Shooting ranges must have an inflated bounce castle on the target range at all times.

-Organizers of gun shows must provide a pile of gold bricks encased in glass that can be broken in case of precious metal emergencies.


-Before purchasing a gun prospective buyers must visit with an expert who will tell them they're a loser for wanting a machine designed to kill other people.

-Proprietors of gun stores need to have a current juggling permit.

-You can buy an AR-15 but you have to have had two years in medical school first.

-Every store must employ a Rat Pack impersonation band for at least 2/3rds of all operating hours.

-All rifles must be autographed by at least two Pulitzer Prize winning novelists.

-You can't sell handguns unless you have an animatronic triceratops within 50 feet of the cash register.

-Gun shows must take place in treehouses.

-Owners are only permitted to clean their guns with crisp 100 bills.

-Gun dealers must employ at least three people named Terry.

All gun owners must like Carl Sagan's Dance Party on Facebook and give us about $20.